When Mother's Day Sucks
Well… I’m a mom. Being a mom sucks right now. Not everyone knows this, but I adopted my twin cousins when they were in high school, I raised them as my son’s sisters so in reality I have 4 kids and that’s enough. I struggle a lot making sure they are all feeling heard and loved, especially my older girls, and especially since I have the little beast. When they moved out I could no longer bring them dinner or make sure they had sweaters on before they left the house. I definitely struggle balancing all of them. Alexis, who spent more formative years with my son and I, is in the Navy and while I overflow with pride everyday I worry constantly, especially now. She is in quarantine in Guam due to COVID 19 and my packages can’t even get to her. It’s good that she doesn’t call because I can’t stop crying every time I think of her stuck in some stuffy gym on some crappy cot. She will recover, she will come home, this is just all very hard. Her sister, Maxine, is holding down their fort in San Diego. She works as a barista and she works very hard to finish school and make ends meet. During the last protest to re-open beaches, her store was stormed by protesters that refused to wear masks. The young people attempting to manage that shop through this pandemic have no say in the mask mandate and they had to be berated by strangers. I cannot protect my daughters and I’m so sad and anxious. I have never felt much feeling on Mother’s Day particularly, my mother has always been the center of that day. But this year I yearn and I ache. Not only are my emotions and mind scrambled from having 2 young ones at home CONSTANTLY. MAKING. NOISE. I want so badly for my girls to be home. I want to help them with their eyebrows and stupid friends. I want to argue about who does dishes and how febreze isn’t a method of cleaning. I want to share clothes and selfies before they go out and stay awake till they get home. But I can’t, This is my hardest Mother’s Day ever, shout out to all the moms that can’t have their kids with them, this shit sucks.